One second she had been falling asleep as her mother read her and her brothers a story, the next she shot up in bed at the realization that she (a) wasn't supposed to be at home but instead at Hogwarts (where she assumed they didn't give out complimentary bed-time stories, courtesy of the house-elves), (b) she was already asleep, (c) she was wearing a nightgown of the scariest and itchiest variety
, (d) she couldn't recall when The Holy Bible had been acceptable evening story-time reading, (e) she didn't have any brothers, and (f) Lily Evans was not her mother, red hair be damned.
That would be sick and disgusting. She didn't look much older here. She would have been 1 year old
. Honestly. Her dream-elves were pervs. Or something.
And all of that wasn't even the scariest notion to take in. By far the most frightening had to be the fact that after one night of peace... the dreams were back to haunt her.
This was, no doubt, some sort of weird and twisted version of Peter Pan. Damn. It. All.
"Wendyline, what's gotten into you? It's story-time!"
Em stared. Wendyline? That sounded like an appliance
. Taking a look around the room, she discovered her brothers. Ted and Barty Jr. Oh dear lord. And... what was that parrot
doing in that corner?
"Just lie back down and we'll keep reading from Leviticus." Her 'mother' smiled and Em groaned, closing her eyes.
When she opened them again one second later, it was nighttime. She couldn't have slept in her dream. That notion was just absurd (not that nothing in this dream wasn't, but... still. A small part of Em still cried out at all the pain this was causing her. Child-hood memories. Ruined forever.)
Suddenly she saw something move. Something black and large and generally frightening. Em's first notion was to jump back under the covers until she thought of the storyline of the movie and realized that this had to be Peter (whoever that role might be played by), so she made herself get out of bed to step into her slippers because, right, the floor might be cold in the 19th century. Much colder than it was now.
She didn't have to deal with this for long. She just needed to get the storyline played through and then it'd be fine.
Briskly opening the window, she looked outside for Peter, not seeing him anywhere. When she turned around again, shaking her head, she almost jumped three feet.
"I'm right here, dollface!" he said, a big grin on his face, clad in all-green - tights, hat with a feather, tutu and spandex top (even if it was a bit frayed, not to mention those ridiculous elf-shoes with the bells on the tip that jingled all funny (it was so frightening Em considered getting that Bible out of the drawer again).
"Where's that shadow so we can just get this over with?"
More grinning. Em sort of wanted to tear his face off. "Oh but daaaaling, we've only just begun!"
Em held her head. "So, what am I supposed to call you? Hmm?"
"Predsies' the name, love's the game, sweets. Let's wake up your brothers, eh?"
As if summonded by some sort of God, they got up from their beds and stared up at her. "Well? Aren't you going to introduce us?" asked the boy who looked like a slightly shrunken Ted Tonks, wearing a bib on his head and holding a cane in his hand. Was he... trying to be John Darling?
"Uuuuh..." came Em's stutter. "I, um, this is John and this is Mich--"
It was only a matter of time before she was cut off. "I'm Thor the Baptist, and this is my brother Marty who can bend Space and Time alike."
'Marty' looked very much like a very shrunken Barty, looking so surly with that pacifier in his mouth, dragging behind him a little toy closet, presumably taken from a dollhouse, and all Em could think about was the fact that they neglected to add that he was one of the Apostles, given all this Bible talk. Nevermind the fact that her other 'brother' had a bad case of dyslexia given his name. She sighed.
"And this over here," Te--er, Thor started, walking over to the corner of the room, "is our Parrot, Av--chooo!!" Suddenly he sneezed, and a rather disgruntled-looking fairy peeked through the bars of the parrot's cage. In a skin-tight tutu. And very hairy legs.
Wait a minute.
"Come out of there Frankerbell! You're going to get too much glitter on the parrot if you haven't already! Honestly!" Within a second sh--er, he'd been freed from the restraints of the cage, and was flittering left and right and about the room and Em thanked the lord she wasn't Tink. She would have been Emmerbell. That would have sounded even more like a cheese. Holding her head, it didn't stay in her hands for long, being torn and ripped and shredded to pieces and being pulled here and there and ever direction by certain fairy hands
Em cried out in pain, and Deda--Pedsies stood, his hands on his hips. "Honestly Fink. Stop that! That's just no good. You'll get glitter on her and that's just unnecessary extra trouble. She doesn't need any.
Frank...er, bell huffed and thrust out her backside, causing Em's eyes to go wide.
"Sooo. Tell me Wendyline. You'll fix me, yes?" she suddenly heard behind her in that sort of silly flirty voice Dedalus used that she just couldn't stand because she knew he wasn't being serious. "Yes," came her gruff reply, looking around before spotting the shadow.
Lucky enough for her, she captured it rather quickly, although it soon turned into a fight between Frankerbell
and herself, each one trying to get to it, before Em grabbed a huge pile of notes off her vanity and chucked them at the little bugger, promptly falling backwards with a rather harsh landing. "We need to get this back on right now
," she ordered, glaring at the rest of the room, before noticing something else.
This shadow wasn't... matching him. It was also wearing a tutu (what
?), not to mention that he... didn't seem to be wearing a hat. Or anything on his head, for that matter.
"Are you sure this is your shadow?" she looked up at Pet--Pedsies suddenly and he shrugged.
"Why wouldn't it be? I mean, it's dark, right? Why would there be any doubt that it would be my Slytherin counterpart?" Grinning, he skipped across the room to her. Jingle, jingle, jingle,
went his feet. "Meet Baldsies. He has a bit of a temper, but... overall, nice guy, really. Now can I have him back?"
Em frowned. "Yeah." These dreams were nightmares. Not dreams. Bugger. All.
At least she actually knew that soap didn't attach things
, but that in the movie, she used needle and thread, so, getting up, she searched her commode until she found some, starting to stitch it up.
"Hey, you're really nifty," he said slowly, as she received tiny tackles to her head that continuously released little sparkles onto her and her hair, not to mention the boy sitting next to her. "Want to be my new mom?"
Em stopped and stared straight ahead.
Oh nononononono. If there was ONE THING she didn't want to be, it was his mother. That was--that was wrong! It was incestuous! That was... nnrgl. Gritting her teeth, she shook her head. "Why should I be your mother?"
"Because I don't ever want to grow up, least of all emotionally. And you're a girl, and Fink's already my sex-slave for those wet dreams. It's more of a casual thing. Nothing you'd be interested in. Careful there, or she'll get too much fairydust on you. And we know what happens when that goes wrong..." winking at her, he nudged her arm with his elbow and pointed over to the cage where the pirate was now dancing on the little rug on the bottom of its cage.
Pedsies got up, grabbed Fink, and spread his arms wide in celebration. "Baldsies is back! We'll celebrate with magical fairy-dust for everyone! My treat!"
When they started to dance around the room and it was starting to change colors (into every color imaginable at once - she refused to call it rainbow.
REFUSED.), she went and hid under her blanket until she was starting to be attacked by the parrot from outside of the blanket, and she shot up in bed.
"EM, would you WAKE UP? You almost made me lose a fingernail trying to wake you up! You really need to stop staying up so late! We'll be late for breakfast!"
Em held her head and, surprisingly, no one came to attack it.