Avery was walking around. Walking, walking, walking, because he was TIRED of walking in behind Balden and seeing Balden try to molest Regulus and he was TIRED of his dorm room and TIRED of dealing with avoiding Regulus for the most part, because he LIKED being around Regulus, he just didn't like what being around Regulus ENTAILED.
Such as THINKING.
not so bad
But at long last, Avery did have to return to the dorm and return to the dorm he did.
OH BOY, DID HE RETURN TO THAT DORM, ALRIGHT.
He was all ready to just go to bed, because he HAD been walking around all day, but when he opened his bed curtains...HE SAW IT. IT.
IT WAS REGULUS. AND THE ROOM WAS SUDDENLY NOT THAT COMFORTABLE ANYMORE.
Pants, his mind squeaked.
No pants</s>, the pirate side of his mind said slyly.
And just as scheduled, or perhaps a few minutes after what it normally was, Avery had arrived. He had arrived and there was NO WAY he was going to miss this. Regulus peeked out from under his bed and watched. It was just the right distance that he could see what was going on without poking his head out onto the floor area and being visible to an Avery that is not to know of the Regupresence until the TIME IS RIGHT.
Normal walking in. Moving about.
PIRACY and then, the inevitable. THE MOMENT REGULUS HAD BEEN WAITING FOR. Or one of the moments. Regulus had quite a bit of interest in more than one sort of moments lately. But for this, he saw Avery stand there and stare. HE SAW THE STARING. And Regulus had to stifle an evil laugh so he wouldn't be seen before it was time for that.
He had to just sit back, relax, make some metaphorical popcorn, and enjoy the show. And hopefully there would be something. Avery did strike him as the sort who would sometimes talk to himself about things.
Regulus watched. The photograph tempted. TEMPTED!! IT TEMPTED AVERY FROM ITS SENSUAL POSE AND PANTS THAT WERE ON THEIR WAY OFF. But they were teasing him, as it was a photograph and the pants were forever frozen RIGHT AT THAT SPOT. Unless, of course, Avery sought out the REAL Regulus.
This ..may prove to be rather interesting.
"NO NO NO NO NO," Avery groaned, flopping back onto the bed, the picture pressed against his stomach. He peeked open one eye and flipped the corner of the picture. OH MY GOD STILL THERE. He slammed it back facedown, his mind screaming in protest.
Er- HE MEANT REJOICE.
"NOT PROTEST. I MEAN. YES PROTEST."
Lucky he was alone. He might be attacked by one of those who insisted that pirates talked to themselves. "Arrr."
And that was a VERY unpiratey ARR, indeed. He flipped over the picture and brought it up to his face again.
He might die like this.
Watching an Avery was proving to be quite an interesting way to pass the time. Not only did he talk to himself, but he also was QUITE THE PIRATE.
Good thing Regulus had a bit of a pirate fetish.
Regulus knew it always started with denial. There it was with the NO and the not looking, and what sounded like he was arguing with himself in a very piratey sort of way. Regulus had no idea WHY it was piratey, it's just one of those things that.. WAS.
Perfect. PERFECT! Avery was looking at it now, held up for quite a good view and just in time. Regulus obviously didn't have just a plain photograph. That isn't nearly interesting enough. It really wouldn't accomplish much just STANDING AROUND (hint to Avery! STANDING AROUND DOES NOTHING!) so of course, there had to be movement. Although timed to start just when Avery was really looking because this was something he really shouldn't miss.
If Avery wanted a show, then he really was in for QUITE the show.
Now, his eyes had to be playing a trick on him. The picture couldn't just start MOVING. It was supposed to be a MUGGLE PICTURE. WHICH WAS BAD ENOUGH. BUT NOW IT WAS MOVING AND THE PICTURE WINKED AT HIM AND HE COULDN'T SEEM TO MOVE HIS EYES.
OH LOOK NO MORE PANTS AND THERE WAS A REGUGROIN, BUT THERE WAS NO ONE AROUND SO HE HAD TO PRETEND TO BE APPALLED.
"NOT PRETEND!" Avery exclaimed, "I AM APPALLED. REALLY."
He paused for a moment, before seeing that there was no one to lie to.
"Not appalled at all. I shouldn't be this pleased with this."
He paused again.
"NOT PLEASED AT ALL, I MEAN."
Old habits die hard?
This was.. entirely unbelievable in its own respect. Regulus had no idea the denial was so bad that Avery even attempted to keep up the act even when no one was around. Regulus was tempted to just leap out of his hiding place and MAKE Avery stop denying but no, far too soon. He wasn't nearly receptive enough for something of the sort. NOT YET ANYWAYS.
But he would be soon if the picture had the desired effects, which actually would be the EFFECTS of DESIRE.
Regulus frowned. He wasn't quite sure how Avery would react to the next bit. Seeing Regulus naked was one thing. Avery had done that many a time. But Reguporn was an entirely different story. He had been slightly strategic when choosing what exactly to include. He obviously couldn't take pictures of himself and Avery doing it because.. well Avery was the one who had to be CONVINCED, wasn't he? He couldn't do it if he hadn't been properly convinced. And pictures with anyone ELSE
likeWillNott wouldn't be effective. Regulus never heard the saying "Nothing says 'I want to do you' more than doing someone else does,' after all, so REALLY. That wouldn't work. He figured after thinking this through and the issue eating his brains for quite some time, that Avery might potentially react best to Regulus having it on with himself. It was the only logical conclusion.
But still, handing over images of LITERAL WANKETRY was a risky move. But if it paid off, it would be more than worth it. Regulus nervously tugged on his hair and watched, afraid yet oddly excited.
LORD OF THE PIRATES COULDN'T HELP HIM NOW BECAUSE THIS WAS SO NOT RATED R ANY LONGER. THIS WAS PORN. REGULUS PORN. REGULUS PORN IN HIS HANDS AND HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE BUT, "WHO IN THE HELL TOOK THIS? I bet it was Will Nott, that wanker of course it was and he put it here to TORTURE ME BECAUSE HE OBVIOUSLY HATES ME AND MAY THE SCURVY BE PUT UPON HIS LOINS-" Avery suddenly slapped a hand over his mouth.
That was undeniably piratetry. WHAT WAS THIS DOING TO HIM? IT WAS EATING HIS BRAIN. AVERY'S BRAIN WAS NOW THE VICTIM OF FOOD TO THE REGUPORN AND HE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
"SCURVY!" he exclaimed, still unable to resist WATCHING AND STILL WATCHING AND OH GOD WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SOMEONE CAME IN HERE RIGHT NOW.
He pulled out his wand and locked the door quickly. It wouldn't do to have anyone ELSE be tainted by the Reguporn, ANYWAY.
WHAT?! NO. NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT IT WAS AT ALL. WHY would Avery think this was WILL'S doing?! That didn't make an OUNCE of sense. Something had to be eating Avery's brains. Perhaps that scurvy business that may or may not be headed STRAIGHT to Will Nott's unsuspecting loins as of this very second in time.
WHY WAS THIS PIRATE TALK SO SEXY?!
And then things got even more interesting. Avery locked the door which meant .. open territory on anything, really. With guaranteed privacy, privacy that Avery had no reason to question, something had to happen. SOMETHING. He was, after all, watching REGUPORN. Seemingly alone. One last exclamation about scurvy had been said and then.. this. THIS. WHATEVER THIS WAS.
If things would turn tragic without hope of turning back around, Regulus would have no choice but to reveal himself.
And if things got interesting? Regulus would be waiting. WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME.
But as of this second, THIS VERY SECOND, Avery was.. STILL WATCHING REGULUS WANK. Regulus felt half-compelled to shriek like a girl but .. MUST CONTAIN HIMSELF. It was just weird and surreal, watching a sexy pirate watch the Regulus doing THAT. OF ALL THINGS.
His hand was moving. MOVING OF ITS OWN ACCORD. MOVING TOWARDS THE AVERYPANTS THAT WERE NOT COMING OFF. The Averypants remained stationary at ALL TIMES. ALL TIMES. ALWAYS. ALWAYS, LIKE A CONSTANT FORCE OF G-RATED-PLEASURE.
"NO! BAD HAND!" he said, glaring at it. "TREACHERY. PLUNDERING OF THE AVERY PANTS NOT PERMITTED."
Glare glare, porn porn.
"NO!!! TREACHERY! TREACHERYYY! BAD," said the Avery as the pants came off.
Just his luck for SOMEONE to suddenly appear.
YES. YES YES YES. YES!
A MILLION TIMES YES.
Avery REMOVED HIS PANTS. If a picture could be THAT CONVINCING despite Avery trying to command his hand elsewhere (as if that'd work), imagine, oh just IMAGINE how convincing the real thing is. Regulus was imagining. And if someone were to be looking at him right now, it was clear from the look that was undoubtedly showing on his face that lust had consumed his brains. LIKE SOMETHING THAT EATS BRAINS.
There was only one thing left to do.
"AHA!" Regulus crawled out from under the bed and pointed at Avery. POINTPOINTPOINT. "AHA! I KNEW IT!"
WAIT. NO. IT WASN'T AN ACCUSATION. IT WAS AN AFFIRMATION. AFFIRMING THAT HE KNEW OF THE LUST AND WANTED TO.. to do something. Regulus took a few of those deep breaths he'd been taking quite a bit of every time Avery was around (what OF that anyways?) and surveyed the sight before him. AVERY WITHOUT PANTS. YUM.
"I knew it," Regulus tried this again, "I suspected you were hiding just how much you want to do me."
Avery never had thought he could move so fast, pulling up his pants and tossing the picture aside in less than 3 seconds. "ARRRRR," said the Avery in shock, pulling his bedcovers up instinctively. OH MY GOD WHO GOT IN HERE THE DOOR WAS LOCKED AND HE WASN'T WANKING, WHATEVER IT LOOKED LIKE,
"WELL I CAN'T JUST JUMP YOU-" Avery yelled, before slapping his hands over his mouth in horror.
Regulus smirked almost ominously as he watched Avery clothe himself THEN get in bed. A little backwards, he thought.
"'ARRRRR!' to you too," Regulus grinned and immediately was RIGHT THERE, sitting on the bed and looking at Avery. "I've been here the whole time, you know. I SAW AND HEARD EVERYTHING. I was hiding and once I saw something rather interesting, I didn't want to hide. Because if you didn't KNOW, the real thing is better than the picture. And from what I saw, you enjoyed the picture quite a bit. So think now. Think about the real thing."
Regulus was hoping he was TEMPTING AVERY. TEMPTING AVERY WITH HIS SENSUAL FORM.
"Correction. You can't just jump a picture of me. But as for ME, jump away." Regulus looked at Avery and rolled his eyes, "AVERY. The door is locked. It's just US. Why are you still denying your Regulust?!"
"NONONONO," Avery said. "I can't JUMP YOU BECAUSE YOU BARELY KNOW WHAT THAT ENTAILS. IF I WERE TO JUMP YOU YOU MIGHT BE SCARED AND THEN YOU'D HATE ME AND THEN WHAT?"
FRANTIC FRANTIC. And now it was out in the open. The REAL REASON.
"And I don'twannabeusedascompensationforWIllNott," he said quickly and quietly. What if that really WAS how it was?? Regulus liked WIll, obviously and Avery was risking alksdfnskljdfakjldf HIS HETEROSEXUALITY on Regulus.
YES, THE NONEXISTANT ONE. He would just be a dejected gay boy when Will came to his senses to sweep Regulus off his feet into some charming fairy tale or something.
WHAT?! That was.. Regulus wasn't sure exactly what this was, aside from an Avery insisting on being panic-stricken for no reason. Hadn't Regulus given him enough clues to know that the jumping would be SO VERY WELCOME?
"Avery," Regulus sighed and gave him more looks, although these suggested more of a person about to tell all sorts of truths and not suggestive of "TAKE ME NOW" .. that would be for later. AFTER THE TRUTHS. "How EXACTLY am I to learn what it entails if you DON'T jump me? And it can't be that difficult, can it? If it was, I don't think anyone would do it. And..and.. if I ask you to, I'm not scared. And I wouldn't hate you. I really, if you must know, I don't think I can hate you."
THIS, this truth-telling, was far more frightening than any jumping would be. And while Avery may have said the next part hoping Regulus didn't hear and understand, he did. Regulus heard. And understood. And running through the events in his head..
"Did you ever stop to consider that .. that Will was compensation for YOU? I was confused because of you and.. and I don't think I would've owled Will if you didn't run off on me so much. I didn't know what to do. And there was this crush I had on Will but I don't think that really matters since I'd get upset if you were the one not seeming to like me."
THERE. He said it. All of everything he'd been turning over in his (now-very-eaten) brain for awhile now. It made sense to him NOW. The timing. Everything. If it really was all about Will, he would've acted sooner, and with the intent to actually accomplish something. But he didn't. Yet he did for Avery.
It all was quite clear to him and he hoped that this might somehow alleviate Avery's fears.
Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. He shouldn't ever have looked down because PANTS THOSE PANTS OH MY GOD, NO VIRGINAL BOY SHOULD HAVE THOSE PANTS IN HIS CLOSET. Those were the pants of PROSTITUTES, AND SHOULD BE TAKEN CARE OF IMMEDIATELY. No, though. Staring at the pants was BAD. BAD AVERY. NO.
He shook his head. It felt SO VERY LATE. Slowly, he dropped the blanket, and his half-put-on-pants shined in all of their glory once again; and he only regretted his lack of underwear a little bit this time. He guessed. Kind of.
One more point to address.
"Who DID take those pictures?" OH GOD THE PICTURES.
Regulus raised an eyebrow and watched where Avery's gaze was falling. It was... apparently Avery found great interest in the REGUPANTS. The very pants that were worn and then subsequently removed in a certain picture which was now becoming quite notorious.
"You don't like my pants?" Regulus mock-pouted. Regulus did like his own pants, yes, but he didn't REALLY mind if Avery detested them. All the more reason to take them off, wasn't it now? Hence, the mock-pout. "I could take them off if you don't like them." Of course the issue had to be pressed further.
BUT WHAT WAS THIS!? Was this some sort of.. invitation? Blanket down, Avery pants nearly as down as the blanket was, and Avery WAS looking at Regulus. was this a pointed look asking for a Regulus to join him in bed? WAS IT?
"I took the pictures," Regulus's smirk turned into an EVIL GRIN, "And before you ask, yes, they were taken just for you. You should be flattered. Really. I've never done that before. .. TAKE PICTURES LIKE THAT I MEAN. NOT WANK. I DID BEFORE AND YOUR FAULT AND - .. " It was Regulus's turn to cover his mouth with shock at what he just SAID to AVERY while he was sitting on is bed in SHINY LEATHER PANTS which were oddly more pants than Avery seemed to have on right now.
Please, Regulus. PLEASE DO NOT HAVE JUST KILLED YOURSELF DEAD.
"No, your pants are hideous. I agree. You should take them off," Avery relented. There was little to deny by this point. He couldn't deny the thing that was usually hidden behind his pants. He couldn't deny the REGULUS PANTS THAT CAUSED THIS PROBLEM. He couldn't deny his exclamations of SCURVY, and the murder of Will Nott could wait until Avery wasn't so limp-noddle-y.
However; he was free to curse scurvy upon his loins, and all.
Tentatively; he reached out. Now with VERY MUCH A PURPOSEFUL REACHING OUT INDEED. Reaching out for the Regulus. With shaking hands- AND MOST DEFINITELY AN IN-SHAKE-ABLE OTHER SOMETHING (DESIRE, PERHAPS. INSANITY, MORE LIKELY.)- and pulled the Regulus straight into his lap. And that was that.
Well, that was that until Avery kissed him.
And not angrily, this time.
Regulus stared at Avery with amazement. WHERE DID ALL OF THIS COME FROM? Avery randomly, or what seemed like randomly as Regulus wasn't any sort of legilimens and really couldn't read Avery's thoughts (which doesn't mean he wasn't curious at all about what he'd find out if he did that. Because he WAS.), was now highly receptive to all things Regulus.
AVERY LAP. AVERYGROIN. AVERYGROIN. AVERYGROIN. AVERYGROIN. IT WAS RIGHT THERE. AND AVERY WILLINGLY HAD THE REGULUS MAKE AN APPEARANCE VERY CLOSE TO RIGHT THERE.
Regulus's inner Avery fangirl was squealing with JOY.
"Well hello. Fancy seeing you right here!" Regulus was just slightly nervous. ONLY SLIGHTLY. But he wasn't too nervous to remove his pants. That was like second nature to him by now. Regulus had a lot of practice in the business of removing his own pants, but not any practice with THIS. This being on an Avery business and now being on Avery WITHOUT ANY PANTS.
Regulus stared at Avery. HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT AND IT WAS MILDLY FRIGHTENING. But thankfully, Avery answered the question FOR him. But not before Regulus could randomly mumble something about "pirate booty" but .. THAT WAS TOO RANDOM. WHY!?
Never mind THAT. There was Avery and Regulus DID know how to kiss
Although he wasn't about to remind Avery of his past experience with that.
But something Regulus hadn't predicted was that he was having great difficulty preventing his hands from wandering down to the very region typically guarded by Averypants but was now RIGHT THERE. LOOKING AT HIM.
Touching touching touching naked naked touching touching Regulus touching AH. Never before had there been so much NAKED EVER. NEVER EVER BEFORE. This was usually the point where Avery ran away screaming for his heterosexuality and pants. But he wasn't going to now.
GROPING. GROPING GROPING GROPING GROPING GROPING AH. His thoughts were becoming more dirty by the minute and his head was pounding already. He groaned slightly, kissing Regulus a little bit harder, and he figured that this COULDN'T be wrong. It just WAS. Just as the sky was blue and his parent's owned a lot of suspiciously Pirate-like ships. NOT A PIRATE.
However he was beginning to emit some very pirate like phrases, the looser he got. His slight accept was become far more prominent as he spoke in his mind. It was like some sort of damn POTION.
"YARR," groaned Avery. OH NO, groaned his brain.
JUST as Regulus grabbed a certain Averygroin, fully intending on demonstrating exactly what 99.jpg did but, of course, on Avery, Regulus heard the Averygroin TALK.
Regulus's eyes flew open and stared at Avery. It was kind of weird staring at someone while you were kissing them but when their groins spontaneously say "YARR!" it's really the sort of situation in which it's rather unavoidable.
He wasn't exactly sure if he should touch it when it was yelling out pirate-isms like that.
Regulus stopped kissing Avery just because.. well he was CONCERNED. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?
"Avery, are you okay? I just.. your groin. It just made the noise of a pirate at me as I went to touch it." Regulus blinked. "Is that.. a good thing or a bad thing?"
Regulus frowned and moved over a bit and leaned in closer to stare at the Averygroin. He listened closely. And looked. Watching. Waiting. LISTENING. Was that normal?! PIRATE GROINS?!
It really didn't occur to Regulus that perhaps Avery himself just "YARR!"'ed for whatever reason but perhaps that's what happens when thoughts weren't the top priority.
Regulus had other things in mind and what the hell, a bit of experimenting with the Averygroin never hurt anyone (except for Balden's pained existance) and it was just SITTING THERE. ASKING FOR SOMETHING. Regulus looked up at Avery.
"I think it wants something!" Regulus stated, before looking back at IT. He didn't want it to fall off! Or do something else really awful to it!
This was pirate territory and Regulus had just arrived.
Avery shot Regulus a strange look. Poof. Oh, what was that? That was the mood. And there it went. Bye bye. Fluttering in the wind. Among other things. Bye bye.
He clenched his eyes shut painfully.
"And this is why I left last time, did you know that? I told you. You need to read books. But you said NOOOOOO, AVERY, NO, YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A DEMONSTRATION</s>."
Avery shook his head.
"HELLO. GROINS DON'T TALK. Avery does talk. Not like a pirate. But I talk."
HIS HEAD WAS ACHING TO MEET A DESK. IN A SATISFYING THUMP. Thump.
"AVERY!" Regulus looked at him with DISBELIEF. It seemed to be a common sort of look that he bestowed upon Avery's piratey person. "I don't want to have hot hot pirate buttsex with a damnable BOOK. I could read and read and read all day and it won't do me an ounce of good!"
LEAVING?! DID HE JUST MENTION LEAVING?! OH NO. THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN NOW. Regulus would NOT ALLOW IT. Regulus thought to himself that there should really be a book written entitled "One Thousand and One Ways to Prevent a Pirate from Vacating Your Bed." Now THAT was something to read. Regulus wasn't entirely familiar with the pirate thought processes, after all. And he couldn't ask Avery about this since he was always denying being a pirate. Even though he had the ACCENT.
Regulus studied Avery, looking rather thoughtful. He was still very much so on an Avery and DAMN. HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE AVERY LEFT.
"YES! YOU TALK!" Regulus was going and he didn't know what he was saying or what he was about to DO for that matter, "I KNOW YOU CAN TALK BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR TALKING AND I WILL NOT ALLOW IT EITHER!"
Regulus was familiar with kissing. YES HE WAS. FAMILIAR. THIS MIGHT MAKE AVERY LESS SCORNING OF THE LACK OF EXPERIENCE AND ALL OF THIS TALK OF BOOKS.
Regulus grabbed Avery and started kissing him like the pirate wench that he truly was.
OH TO BE LOOTED AND PLUNDERED BY AVERY. REGULUS WAS ALL ABOUT THAT.